A Custom Retirement Party Song for Your Boss

The thing to understand about this room is that the boss is standing in it. Twenty feet away, holding a plastic cup, and every person on the team is going to be watching his face instead of watching whoever is talking. That is the constraint. Whatever plays has to be funny enough that the room laughs and safe enough that he laughs first.

The material is already there, and it is not his accomplishments. It is his phrases. The one he opens every meeting with. The thing he calls the quarterly report that is not what it is called. The email sign-off nobody else in the company uses. Circle back, park it, take it offline, whichever ones are his. Put four of them in a chorus and forty people say them along with it, which is the loudest a retirement party ever gets.

Then one verse where you stop joking. The years, the people he hired, the person he covered for when it counted who is standing right there. Say it once, plainly, and go back to the joke. That structure is the whole difference between a tribute and a roast.

Nobody has to write or perform anything. Send us his phrases, his tenure and two stories, and we write it. Collect the phrases in a group chat first. It takes ten minutes and people enjoy doing it.

One original studio-quality song made from your details, $19.99, delivered by email within 24 hours.

Start the group chat, ask for his top five sayings, and send us the list.