The Perfect Birthday Song for Your Boyfriend

You have not been together long enough to know his shoe size, or which of the two hoodies he actually wears, or what is already sitting in a box under his bed. That is the real problem with his birthday. Spending more does not fix it, and spending less looks like you forgot. A song written about him gets around the whole question, because the effort is obvious and the message is entirely yours to set. It can be a real gift without being a statement.

Here is the part people get backwards. A year and a half of history is not too little to write about. It is better. After eighteen years everything blurs into we have been through a lot together. After eighteen months you still have the specifics: the sandwich place he insists is the only good one, the way he answers absolutely everything with that's wild, the four hour drive back from his sister's wedding where you talked the whole way. Those are the lines that make a song sound like him instead of a birthday song with his name dropped into it.

You do not have to write anything, and you do not need to know music. Send us a few sentences about him in whatever order they come out and we write and produce the song from that. Pick a sound he would actually put on himself. Tell us to keep it funny rather than solemn and we will. Nothing in it says forever unless you ask for that.

An original studio-quality song written from your details, $19.99, delivered by email within 24 hours. Start by writing down three things about him that his friends would not know, then bring those with you when you order.